What happens when one of the biggest names in music puts his Business Mode cap on? A spectrum of sounds that ultimately sound contrived to the point of irrelevance.
Ed Sheeran – ÷ (Atlantic)
The undeniable success of Ed Sheeran is proof that in the Snapchat era, in some cases pop music is not as much about the songs as one could assume. With humble beginnings in Surrey, studying at the Academy of Contemporary Music, Sheeran has since constructed an admirable persona as one of pop’s most “genuine” acts. It is a rare occasion finding a press photo of Ed without his trusty acoustic guitar grasped closely, and there was a respectable couple of years where you would do well without seeing a picture of him busking in Ireland.
After selling-out three nights at Wembley Stadium, a feat not even Coldplay couldn’t pull off, and now almost dead-certain to headline Glastonbury on the Sunday night, arguably Britain’s biggest popstar returns with his third record and his first after his year off social media – a bold move for a modern chart botherer. Unfortunately, and not like it matters, this might end up going down as Sheeran’s weakest to date.
His debut + was a sweet, if innocent, collection of acoustic numbers with enough commercial appeal to get BBC Radio 1 airplay but enough charm to grace BBC Radio 2; whereas his sophomore x was a far bolder and more confident pop record, equipped with solid pop anthems and guitar ballads but felt more incoherent and less heartfelt. Album three continues this trajectory with aplomb, a steep meander towards the blandness of current chart tracks. Clearly the impact of going to ACM has paid off for him as a businessman; he ticks off many genres on this record as well as targeting a variety of crowds, but as a result feels less effortlessly cool, more attention-seeking waving-hands-in-air. On his debut, he “rapped” about how “I didn’t go to BRIT school”, a statement so bold and charasmatic, despite the fact that he attended a university just as specialised as his aforementioned forelonged educational premises. This on-the-surface coolness will be omnipresent on anything Sheeran writes and performs, but upon listening to ÷, it is already beginning to rub off.
Opening with Eraser, a spoken-work introduction that is a statement of intent; he sounds like a poor mans Arab Strap with “bars” about the struggles of a musician and the awareness of how the industry wants to do one over anybody who stands in their way. It may not be the most interesting, nor engaging, opening tracks of recent times but his confidence in publicly mentioning how the industry he is fully involved in is dangerous and tiring is slightly admirable (despite the fact that he has more fame and money than almost every single working musician in the industry).
As the album plods along, the range of tones and styles bounce around like a child on a sugar rush; there is the utterly soulless and uncharacteristic Shape of You, the rather weirdly sexy Dive, which at track three slows things down very early and as a result gives the record serious pacing issues.
Then the proceedings get marvellously blown up with the ridiculous Galway Girl, a song so stupendously silly that Sheeran surely sees that; according to Sheeran, his label wanted the song off the record only for him to turn around and say that millions wish they were Irish and so would love this song. A fascinating decision, although the track stands out from the tracklisting due to its lack of necessity.
By this point, the album has hit a brick wall. Apart from slower numbers Happier and Hearts Don’t Break Around Here, the record lacks any noticeable moments and ends up feeling extremely weak from a performer who has writting songs for just about every major popstar. For a record written by the most streamed act on Spotify (as of 03/03/2017), this album truly lacks hits and any well-written songs. If it weren’t for his charm, it would be hard to see how a record of this quality could top the charts.
4/10
The Best of the Rest
Sleaford Mods – English Tapas
8/10
Grandaddy – Last Place
7/10
Vagabon – Infinite Worlds
8/10
Temples – Volcano
6/10
Khalid – American Teen
6/10
Side B 
Interesting perspective! I can definitely agree with what you’re saying. There are some solid tracks here and there but overall it’s fairly lackluster. Are you a fan of his previous work?
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